My Alternate Existence

I like to think that I live a life of moderation,but I am so, so wrong.
What I really live is a life of extremes that are not necessarily related to one another at all.
The other day I was described by a self-proclaimed fence-rider as a fence-rider.
Yes, I agreed. I am.
Six months ago I was up by 5:45 most days, starting with a workout, moving into teaching a couple of classes, and then finishing the day off with a shift at the restaurant.
Post burnout, and post classes-getting-cancelled, I'm working nine to ten shifts a week at the restaurant and getting up at ten on an early day.
Forget the workouts.

Tonight I had a table I've had before. Not super-regulars, but every-now-and-then-on-a-Saturday-nighters. The woman mentioned that she worked with FURS, and I told her that as a TRIgirl, I had been involved with them somewhat when they were our sponsored charity. Her husband perked up at this, telling me that he has been doing tris for the past few years. We got into a more involved discussion...

I spoke flippantly about my Ironman and next-week marathon and the ensuing lack of anything whatsoever. He talked up the Shady Grove Sprint. I rolled my eyes internally. This is the girl who would actually rather swim 2.4 miles in the gulf than 300 meters in a suffocating pool. He admired my Ironman finish. I admired his sticktoitiveness with the sprints.

He started asking me about Ironman, and I spilled details. He said, "I see the twinkle in your eye," and I started to tear up. Yeah, y'all expect that of me. I promised him he'd see me there, though most likely not as a participant. I still covet the cheerleader position.

I had a job interview on Thursday, which I thought promising. During my meeting with several of the team members at the company, I was asked, "Given your experience with teaching and the restaurants, do you think you would be happy in an office environment?"

I answered positively then, but that question is haunting me. I do like the open water better than the pool.

Fat and Lazy...

Wow. I can't belive I finished Ironman in November. If I told anyone who didn't know me, they would totally think I was lying. I thing that since finsihing the Ironman (and, of course, running the Richmond Marathon the following week,) my workouts have included two two-mile runs, a six mile run, a half-hour swim, and a cycling class. Oh yeah, I may have gone for a walk a few times, as well.

Is this what we call burnout? Granted, I've been living la vida loca, translated as the restaurant lifestyle--working late, enjoying a couple of wines or beers, sleeping in... until the next "double" takes its toll.

As my favorite kitchen guy Paul would say, "Seriously."

Seriously, I have abondened all good habits for slovenly ones. Went from Ironman to Areyoukiddingmeyoureallythinkicouldwalkamile?isntitsleetingorsomething?girl.

I have pipe dreams about the upcoming season, but I'm not ready to face them.

So.

Congratulations to Mom and Dad, who once again ran the Colonial Half in ridiculous weather conditions (aka winter.)
And the Beebs, who makes it to the gym on a regular basis for Eagleman training.
And Lolly, who is maintaining even though she's not training for anything at all right now.
And the guys from Dyron's training blog, who havent quite managed to motivate me, although they make me think about it!
And Anna, who runs. Long.
And the TRIgirls and Maramarc folk who keep on keepin on.
And SanDee J. Gammon who still calls me for a workout, even though she knows I often fall through.
That's how I know, even though I'm slacking now, that I WILL BE BACK.
Just don't push me...

I love you all.

Carmen Leah Hamlin

dont hate in 08/carmen33

So this is my new signature. The year needed a motto, and I needed a name. The plan? Not yet formed.

As my friends, family, acquaintances, and training partners know, I have a bit of an attitude problem. The toddler in me wants all to know that I do what I want to do. I wanted to do ironman, so I did. I wanted--and decided, long before Ironman was finished--to totally take a break from training after the race and party on, dude.

Well, I did run the Richmond marathon the week after Ironman. BUT only because I love the race and because my sister was running her first marathon (and her first run EVER longer than 13.1 miles, God bless her!)

Goal accomplished. That is, of ,party on, dude.

So, I figured life would take shape again when classes resumed January 14. The wrench thrown in my plan--classes cancelled due to low enrollment. So, I've been "gettin my Hondo on steady" ever since. The upside is that this may be the kick in the pants I need to do something full-time, or as many of us refer to it, "real."

So.

In the past two months, I've gone running twice, bought a new car, had a job shift, buried a pet, worked my ass off, and celebrated Christmas, the new year, and my thirty-third year of life. I've reconnected with my wonderful friends and coworkers who thought I'd fallen off the planet in the past year. One major bonus: I've read more than I had in the past two years combined (going from about a book every week or two to a book every day or two.) BUT I've also gained about fifteen pounds and had a hard time getting anything accomplished besides reading or going to work (especially, read: training.)

The wonderful truth about being a human being is that as much as we try to achieve balance, things constantly shift. We think we want things to stay the same, but, really. No.

Do I have major training goals for 2008? Nope.
Do I want to work a little, play a little, race a little? Absolutely.

I'm feeling less lofty, but more human. I'm trying to wallow in moderation. whereas I usually go full throttle in opposite directions.

Plus, I've been getting some smacktalk from the boys.